Build-a-Snape
Mar. 19th, 2005 04:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
runespoorWhat is it with me, I don't post for ten days and then I crowd your f-list with memes?
But it is about Snape, and as such, I cannot ignore the call of the fangirl. I gacked it from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
laurelwood; italics means I added the option/commentary/whatever.
Build-a-Snape
1. Physique :
b. lean but well-muscled because the man spends his time stirring Potions, you know.
2. The Reason for His Greasiness
b. potions fumes
c. poor hygiene
It's not like he cares.
3. His Bits
b. not important
4. His Sexual History
f. several flings and meaningless relationships. Or, perhaps,
c. one great love, way back when, but nothing since too: it will have been disappointing and evolved into manipulation games, and all in all, been neither tragic nor romantic but lust- and profit-induced.
5. His Sexual Prowess
c. an amazing sex god, and never mind how he got that way
6. His Private Quarters
c. Millions and millions of books, plus threadbare furnishings because it's only his Hogwarts quarters, and he doesn't give a rat's arse about it.
7. His Bedsheets
c. white cotton with a high threadcount, worn to an amazing softness
8. His Lamentable Past
a. abused by parents
b. abused by Voldemort
c. abused by Lucius
d. abused by Albus
e. abused by the Ministry
f. abused by self
g. abused by schoolmates
h. abused by Death Eaters
i. and there are days I think he'd like to make a case for "abused by students".
For different values of abuse, of course.
9. What Color is His Parachute After the War?
b. independent potions research
f. Harry Potter's lover.
10. His Drink of Choice
b. whatever's handy
c. wine connoisseur
There's only so much you can buy with a teacher's pay, and looking for good wines would ask too much time. Also, I'd like to claimleni_jess's answer, which is that nowadays, what with playing double agent, he only drinks alcohol when he's sure he's not in a situation where his getting drunk could prove a potentially lethal problem, so the "whatever's handy" tends to reduce itself to tea. I'm not sure it does much good to his mood.
11. His Leisure Pursuits
b. reads classical literature
c. writes articles for potions periodicals
f. uses all his leisure time to stalk miscreants in the hallways, or else drinks till he passes out over a pile of 4th year essays
12. His Out-on-the-Town Clothes; Supple Leather Boots and:
d. something Edwardian-looking with lots and lots and lots of buttons
13. His Undergarments
e. things that he doesn't need to spend much time thinking about, comfortable, and reasonably priced.
14. Optional Features
a. multilingual
c. world-famous in the field of potions
j. son of two Squibs.
But it is about Snape, and as such, I cannot ignore the call of the fangirl. I gacked it from
laurelwood; italics means I added the option/commentary/whatever.Build-a-Snape
1. Physique :
b. lean but well-muscled because the man spends his time stirring Potions, you know.
2. The Reason for His Greasiness
b. potions fumes
c. poor hygiene
It's not like he cares.
3. His Bits
b. not important
4. His Sexual History
f. several flings and meaningless relationships. Or, perhaps,
c. one great love, way back when, but nothing since too: it will have been disappointing and evolved into manipulation games, and all in all, been neither tragic nor romantic but lust- and profit-induced.
5. His Sexual Prowess
c. an amazing sex god, and never mind how he got that way
6. His Private Quarters
c. Millions and millions of books, plus threadbare furnishings because it's only his Hogwarts quarters, and he doesn't give a rat's arse about it.
7. His Bedsheets
c. white cotton with a high threadcount, worn to an amazing softness
8. His Lamentable Past
a. abused by parents
b. abused by Voldemort
c. abused by Lucius
d. abused by Albus
e. abused by the Ministry
f. abused by self
g. abused by schoolmates
h. abused by Death Eaters
i. and there are days I think he'd like to make a case for "abused by students".
For different values of abuse, of course.
9. What Color is His Parachute After the War?
b. independent potions research
f. Harry Potter's lover.
10. His Drink of Choice
b. whatever's handy
c. wine connoisseur
There's only so much you can buy with a teacher's pay, and looking for good wines would ask too much time. Also, I'd like to claim
leni_jess's answer, which is that nowadays, what with playing double agent, he only drinks alcohol when he's sure he's not in a situation where his getting drunk could prove a potentially lethal problem, so the "whatever's handy" tends to reduce itself to tea. I'm not sure it does much good to his mood.11. His Leisure Pursuits
b. reads classical literature
c. writes articles for potions periodicals
f. uses all his leisure time to stalk miscreants in the hallways, or else drinks till he passes out over a pile of 4th year essays
12. His Out-on-the-Town Clothes; Supple Leather Boots and:
d. something Edwardian-looking with lots and lots and lots of buttons
13. His Undergarments
e. things that he doesn't need to spend much time thinking about, comfortable, and reasonably priced.
14. Optional Features
a. multilingual
c. world-famous in the field of potions
j. son of two Squibs.
