The Nightmare Pairing meme

[runespoor]

I, Runespoor, do solemnly swear that my favorite HP character is Andromeda Black and my least favorite character is Draco Malfoy. The mere thought of them doing naughty things together makes me whimper. However... given sufficient crack and all the clichés available in the world, here's how a Andromeda/Draco Malfoy shag might happen (though I sincerely hope it never does, and if it does, I just don't want to know I'd be a fool not to glee at it).

Necessary plot device or deus ex machina: Andromeda is seeking revenge against something Draco/his father did. He doesn't know she is, obviously, and it is serious enough for her to cheat on Ted. A world in which the Malfoys are unscathed.

Who makes the first move: Mmh... Technically, it will be Draco, but Andromeda will have been playing seductive so that even him would have no way to misunderstand want she wanted.

Positions and/or kinks: I don't want to think about it. Really. Given this is Andromeda, there will be a lot of sex magic. And she'll be furiously clawing at Draco's skin, because if Draco is too busy to think about it, she's not (Draco 'I only think about me' Malfoy?) and she just knows he'll shriek upon realising what has been done to his lovely, pure white skin.

Afterglow: He's babbling with smugness and almost weeping with gratefulness until she reveals who she is. (to quote violet_quill, "OMG you're my AUNT! OMG you're a BLOODTRAITOR! OMG you're MEAN!") Then he either commits suicide because he has proved to be unworthy of his name or will agree to anything Andromeda demands of him because her blackmail that she will Tell All if he doesn't is surprisingly convincing (and he doesn't stop to think that she's married because he's too scared of what his father would say. And I'm not sure he can think so well on his feet, either). After which she still manages to drag the Malfoy name in the mud, because what she asked of Draco was, if not illegal, highly compromising.

Would I actually read or write this? Where's the link?

Comments

[lyotto.livejournal.com]

This is, by far, the best set of answers I have read for this meme.

[runespoor7.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I've given this too much thought. (Especially the consequences. Once I have enough time, I think I'll write it, because guh, Dead Draco!... Don't think I'll have the stomach to write the sex, though.) Btw, did you do yours?