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runespoorTitle: So Off To Bed With You, My Cute Little Students ♥
Character/Pairing: (Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi.)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A very long time in the future, when the Five Countries have since long disappeared, a sensei tells a legend to his three students.
Notes: Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
31_days. Crack. Crack. Craaaaaaaack. Also dialogue fic. also colored text I am so sorry.
“Tell us a story.”
“Tell us a legend.”
“...”
“And what kind of story do you want to hear?”
“A long one. I'm not tired.”
“One that ends well.”
“They always end well.”
“Tell us about Roam-the-Land!”
“What part of Roam-the-Land?”
“Everything!”
"Everything's about Roam-the-Land, you – moron, we'll be there for days!... And I'm waking up early tomorrow morning."
“Oh! Wish-for-the-Sky! A story about Wish-for-the-Sky, then!”
“Yeah, that'd be great!”
“...No.”
“What? Why?”
“Too long. Everything's about Wish-for-the-Sky.”
"Hey, no fair! You said that about Roam-the-Land too!"
"That's because it's always about either one or the other, cretin. Or both. Even when it's not about them, it's about them. ...And I hate Wish-for-the-Sky.”
“Tough.”
“He makes things needlessly complicated.”
“That's exactly what makes it interesting!”
“...Not you too. I thought you were more sensible than that.”
“Anyway, if you wanted short sweet and silly, then don't ask for a legend! What you get is what there was!”
“If I can remind you, you were the one who asked for a legend because you're not sleepy. I don't care for your bedtime stories and in fact I'd like it much better if we could just go to sleep right away.”
“Yeah, well we're not gonna go story-less because you decided to be a prissy jerk, so suck it up, bastard.”
“If you want me to listen to it, don't force your choice upon me.”
“You should just tell the Snow story, sensei.”
“CHEAT! You got that one three days ago!”
“It's a nice story. Don't you agree with me?”
“...I don't mind that one.”
“...Someone's a romaaaaaaaantic...”
“Am not.”
“Yeah right.”
"Now don't be ridiculous. One person dying to protect their loved one is not romantic. No not at all."
"That's not helping."
"I think that was kinda the point. But yeah, you're right – it's not romantic after all. My mistake."
"Or heartbreaking. Nothing heartbreaking about that set-up at all."
"But I bet you don't see what the hell we're talking about, are ya."
"Of course you don't."
“Stop it. You should be happy. Both Roam-the-Land and Wish-for-the-Sky are in that story.”
"The story with the absolutely not romantic, in no way heartbreaking ending."
"That one."
"…"
"Joking aside, it's not even a role, it's a – a cameo."
"Yeah, and I'm not listening to your angst fest a mere three days after the last one. 'Sides you're in a shitty state afterwards and you need to wake up early tomorrow."
"A bit rich, coming from the one who goes to sleep sniffling and upset for hours, but why not?"
“Hey, buddy, I'm not the one asking for it. And so what if I'm upset? Damn right that story is upsetting! It's way upsetting!”
“How can you possibly stand Wish-for-the-Sky if you don't like upsetting?”
“Because that story ends well!”
“...Baby.”
“At least I don't pretend I'm all tough and stuff!”
“That's because you aren't.”
“And you're a big jerk. Scaredy-cat.”
“And there they go...”
“You, stay out of it. And why exactly do you call me a scaredy-cat, loser?”
“Durrr, not sure. Maybe 'cause you're denial that you're a closet romantic for the Snow story? You drop the act, and maybe I'll start not seeing you as a closed-off stuck-up scaredy-cat.”
"Will you drop it with the Snow story already?!"
"Children."
Silence.
"Am I to take this you leave it to me to decide on tonight's story?"
"Um no."
"Hell no."
"We were almost done choosing anyway – right?"
"Right – anything that's not about Psycho Inc.'s fine by me."
"Yes. Just – no puppetmaster this time."
"Never again. No puppetmaster."
"… I don't get it. Why puppetmaster specifically? I mean, how is it worse than the freaky immortal guy or the freaky person with mouths in his palms or the freaky loud one with no actual face?"
"Oh, that's right. You weren't there last time. Well. Let's just put it this way."
"You don't want to know."
"Well, now I do."
"Oh, for – we'll tell you later, okay?"
"You will. I certainly won't. …And no amount of 'scaredy-cats' will make me change my mind."
"Were you born this big a pain in the ass, or does this take special efforts?"
"The way you three interact make me think their story might be a good idea."
"'Their'?"
"Shatter-the-Earth, Roam-the-Land, and Wish-for-the-Sky."
Silence.
"…Puppets?"
"Recalling a distinct lack of puppets from my end. Maybe in the versions you weren't old enough to hear before now."
"I don't think we're old enough now."
"I don't think we'll ever be old enough."
"…I don't think we heard it for a while. Hey, I like that one! Okay, sensei. Shatter-the-Earth, Roam-the-Land, and Wish-for-the-Sky it is."
"…Don't speak as though you're our leader, idiot."
"Don't pay attention to them, sensei. I'm listening – and they will be listening soon enough if they know what's good for them."
"Thank you. So. Imagine, if you can, an entire village built in trees. They say that the trees were on fire, but I'm not too sure what to make of it. One interpretation is that the village was goin' down, another that passions blazed strong in the villagers' heart, another yet that the village was the thing keeping the country warm and safe."
"Hey, hey, maybe the inhabitants could command to fire! They were ninjas, right? Betcha they could command to fire!"
"Freak, normal people do not command fire. And your fire-summoning skills being what they are, I wouldn't call too much attention on those if I were you."
"Ya're just jealous."
"Of your mad roasting-the-entire-camp-to-ashes abilities? I think not."
"Maybe they could do katon and were just as clumsy as you, then. That'd make sense. …Wouldn't it make sense, sensei?"
"Personally, I'd tend to think it's related to the fact that on the night our story begins, the village was being wrecked by a monster of mythical proportions, but whatever works for you."
"…The village was being wrecked?"
"The tails of the fox lashed at the air like whips of sizzling chakra, and its growls filled the atmosphere like hissing thunder, its ivory fangs cutting through the smoke like lightning through the clouds. Under the beast the villagers were running and shouting, fleeing or fighting, civilians and shinobis alike were crunched in the fox's jaws or under its wiry paws; people were dying, and the village reeked with the smell of burnt flesh.
"The brave inhabitants of the village were fighting to the death-"
"Sensei…"
"Well, they were."
"Yes, but hearing you talk like that is disturbing."
"…Okay, so they were being slaughtered on a big scale, due to panic, incompetence, and general bad luck. Better?"
"…"
"We are talking about the village of our heroes, here?"
"Yes?"
"…Just checking."
"Go on."
"To make things worse, no one knew how to defeat the demon – the fox wasn't a mere beast, it had a clever, cunning intelligence and cruel single-mindedness. A bit like the three of you put together, except that it was strong.
"And to make things even worse, the leader of the ninjas had gone missing.
"Now, everybody loved him and would've gladly died for him several times in a row, because he had the sunniest smile ever and he had a way of looking at you as though you were the only person alive, even if many people thought he was slightly insane.
“His advisers were freaking out a bit and his guards were looking everywhere but at each other, because every look would've been an accusation and they knew better than anyone that there was no point of accusing one another of 'how could you take your eyes away from him? What sort of a bodyguard are you if you can't even protect your leader?' since, over the past months – all the months since he'd been made leader, really – they'd been regularly losing track of him."
"How regularly?"
"Once or twice a day."
"…Wow, did they suck."
"Well, in their defense the leader was the fastest shinobi ever to grow up in the village, and he had a way of thinking around the angles that no guard in his right mind could be expected to understand least they were discharged for growing eccentricity that got in the way of doing their jobs. Besides half the time he strolled in ten minutes later with a small provision of dango which he wasn't adverse to sharing, or fresh flowers for his office, and always, always a sunny smile on his lips.
"On top of that he was a great leader as well as the one who'd stopped the war – oh yeah, there'd been a war, decades of war-mongering, lots of people dying, really awful – so none of his guards felt the right to deprive him of his small pleasures.
"Sometimes they even conversed among themselves that with everything he'd done, he'd deserved a bit o' quiet and a life of his own, because it certainly felt to them as though his entire life was devoted to his office, with the occasional side-dish of his previous students, but they tended to enter his office-related mood, even though he did chat about their personal life, because, as far as the guards had seen, his way of dealing with everyone required a pinch of attention about their personal lives. At least the former leader had had a family, as complicated as his relations with it were.
"So everyone was part freaking out part trying to analyze the situation with a cool mind when one of the leader's students glimpsed at something through the window. It was too fast to be anything but the leader, so the two students jumped out of the window to run after their sensei, leaving the guards to explain the situation and the advisers to try and figure out what he was going to try.
"The two students could catch up with their sensei when he paused, waiting for them but looking straight ahead. His white cloak was flapping and billowing behind him; the flames danced on and around it.
"He had a small bundle in his arms. It was a kid; a new-born kid.”
“His child.”
“You again on that?”
“Everyone knows that, there’s no point in repeating it.”
“What, you too?”
“Well, he is.”
“He is.”
“You’re just jumpin’ to conclusions for which you don’t have the shadow of a proof!”
“There are plenty of proofs, you’re just too stupid to see them.”
“And anyway, how do you know the kid’s a boy? Could be a girl, for all we know, and wouldn’t you look stupid.”
“Except we already know the story. We know it’s a boy.”
“And we know he’s his son. Get over it.”
“You’re both full of air.”
“Dammit, why don’t you just admit, for once—”
“Look, obviously there’s no use trying to talk about it. Let’s just get back to the story, okay? We’ll have the answer soon enough, anyway, and I know someone who’s going to look dumb when we do.”
"Neither one of the students knew what their sensei had in mind, but both understood everything about the small flicker of life in their teacher's arms.
"Then they all started running again, the students shadowing their sensei, running towards the laughing demon.
"Long story short; one student died, one didn't, nothing was left of the leader of the village of burning trees, and Roam-the-Land opened eyes that were as blue as a summer sky.
"Everyone agree with that version or is something missing?
"Great, then we can go to the beginning. That, you understand, was the prologue.
“So, in the beginning, there was a ninja clan with members that tended not to sleep enough; they were renowned for spending much of their nights slaving away on neat jutsus and ridiculously complicated scrolls. But, as they were law-abiding individuals, they made sure to keep to the curfew ordered during the war, and never used an source of light during their nightly activities.
"As a result, their eyes were red with blood and lack of sleep."
"Sensei!"
“Well, call that however you like, but facts don’t lie. They had red eyes. Only part of the time, too.”
“...I’d forgotten how freaky this story started as.”
“Betcha you don’t think katon is so creepy now.”
“Idiot, nothing can make breathing fire not freaky. Besides, your eyes do often turn red. From crying.”
“You—Take it back!”
“Oh for the love of—OW! BOTH OF YOU WATCH WHERE YOU’RE KICKING, NOW!”
“Children.”
Shuffling dying out.
“That is better.
“Now, it just so happens that our red-eyed clan also had a specialty in fire jutsu – they could breathe fire! It made them one of the most respected clan in their village, because they were flaming.”
Minor aneurysms are avoided by selective application of a fist upon a skull.
“Eurk...”
“Heh.”
“So maybe their eyes were just red from the fire, sensei.”
“That’s a possibility.”
“STOP SNICKERING, BASTARD!”
“What are you talking about, moron? I’m not even looking at you.”
“YOU ARE SNICKERING IN YOUR SOUL. I CAN FEEL IT.”
“And now you’re a mind-reader on top of it. Have you already considered a career as a circus freak?”
“SHUT UP BITCH.”
“You’d be much better at it than you are as a ninja, that’s for sure.”
“I—YOU—”
“Then again, it wouldn’t be hard.”
“I CAN KICK YOUR ASS ANY TIME I WANT.”
“Oh, god...”
“Really? I must have imagined the last – was if fifty or sixty times?”
“...That’s it. Stand up and fight.”
“Gladly.”
“Sensei, why don’t you just – do something?”
“Haven’t you learnt by now that sometimes it’s better to let things run their course?”
“...Sensei, I’m going to be the one who has to deal with their whining afterwards.”
“Then you should be the one doing something, don’t you think?”
“I have your blessing? Oh, good.”
“—MAKE YOU EAT YOUR WORDS, ASSHOLE—ow ow ow lemme go please lemme go owwww.”
“...glurk...”
“Both you stop, sit, and shut up. I want to hear the rest of the story. Please go on, sensei.”
“You’re holding them tight enough?”
“Oh, yes.”
“t-too t-ght...”
“...”
“Sorry, what did you say?”
“c-n’t breath- oo’r –olding t’t-ght...”
“Hrm. You’re strangling me.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“...don’t mention it.”
“dis ith SO NOT FAIR!!! ack—”
“So, I was saying. Oh yes, the clan. So, you see, in that clan a child was born, and he had hair as black as ink and skin as white as the moon, and its eyes would in time burn, but for now he was just a charming little creature whose chubby legs could barely carry him long or fast enough to run after his older brother, for he had an older brother he adored, and who dotted on him.
“And so his name was not Wish-for-the-Sky yet.”
“Do we know how he was called?”
“We'll get to that when Roam-the-Land and Shatter-the-Earth finally learn about it. It wouldn't be fair if you knew that already when they don't, don't you think?
“The story wouldn't be as interesting.”
“Oh, great! So we'll know very quickly then!”
“No, for it was many eternities before Wish-for-the-Sky would tell Roam-the-Land and Shatter-the-Earth.”
“...What an insufferable jerk.”
“I'M SORRY WHAT DID YOU SAY.”
“Called him a righteous jerk, what else?”
“He is.”
“WHAT, YOU TOO?”
“Look, I really like him, but you've got to admit he is a jerk when the story starts.”
“He's also one when the story stops.”
“Well, yeah, but that's not the point. When the story ends he's their jerk.”
“Hn.”
“That's it! He's their jerk, so it doesn't count!”
“Let's get on with the story, shall we?”
“What of Shatter-the-Earth then, sensei?”
“She was a bud among flowers. But they didn't know her then, and she didn't know herself. She lived for the boy who would grow to be Wish-for-the-Sky since the day he had lit within her a fire no water could extinguish, but she shunned Roam-the-Land because she blamed him for her being lost.”
“I forgot how much of a bitch she was at the beginning.”
“Now, now. She's not a bitch, she's just...”
“--ANNOYING!”
“--ANNOYING!”
“--Annoying.”
“...Done laughing, children? Well, then, it's now that I must tell you that it all actually starts long after they'd met one another for the first time.
“No, it actually starts when the three of them were waiting for their sensei – for ninja back then had sensei too.
“Wish-for-the-Sky was wishing to be anywhere else, Roam-the-Land and Shatter-the-Earth were bickering, Roam-the-Land roaming nowhere further than the boundaries of their waiting place and Shatter-the-Earth shattering nothing more than the other two's eardrums.
“Their sensei was late.”
“That reminds me of someone...”
“Yeah, and ditto.”
“...” but the silence is heavy with meaning.
“Really? How strange.
“Anyway, there they were, and--”
“STOP MOVING.”
“My legs are going numb, I can't help it!”
“...you want us to help other parts of of you to go numb as well?”
“Guuuuuyyyyyyysssss...”
“Just... be quiet, okay? Stop fidgeting and stay quiet.”
“You're ruining the story.”
“So you DO care about story-time after all!”
“...No I don't I just care about you not getting on my nerves that's all.”
“Hehehehe...”
“I don't and I don't care what you think.”
“...Aww, but we care about you, you itty-bitty weetle woobie! And it makes us happy that you're finally coming to appreciate the--”
“End that sentence and I will end you.”
“Guys, seriously, not again...”
And so the story goes.
Character/Pairing: (Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi.)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A very long time in the future, when the Five Countries have since long disappeared, a sensei tells a legend to his three students.
Notes: Written for
31_days. Crack. Crack. Craaaaaaaack. Also dialogue fic. also colored text I am so sorry.“Tell us a story.”
“Tell us a legend.”
“...”
“And what kind of story do you want to hear?”
“A long one. I'm not tired.”
“One that ends well.”
“They always end well.”
“Tell us about Roam-the-Land!”
“What part of Roam-the-Land?”
“Everything!”
"Everything's about Roam-the-Land, you – moron, we'll be there for days!... And I'm waking up early tomorrow morning."
“Oh! Wish-for-the-Sky! A story about Wish-for-the-Sky, then!”
“Yeah, that'd be great!”
“...No.”
“What? Why?”
“Too long. Everything's about Wish-for-the-Sky.”
"Hey, no fair! You said that about Roam-the-Land too!"
"That's because it's always about either one or the other, cretin. Or both. Even when it's not about them, it's about them. ...And I hate Wish-for-the-Sky.”
“Tough.”
“He makes things needlessly complicated.”
“That's exactly what makes it interesting!”
“...Not you too. I thought you were more sensible than that.”
“Anyway, if you wanted short sweet and silly, then don't ask for a legend! What you get is what there was!”
“If I can remind you, you were the one who asked for a legend because you're not sleepy. I don't care for your bedtime stories and in fact I'd like it much better if we could just go to sleep right away.”
“Yeah, well we're not gonna go story-less because you decided to be a prissy jerk, so suck it up, bastard.”
“If you want me to listen to it, don't force your choice upon me.”
“You should just tell the Snow story, sensei.”
“CHEAT! You got that one three days ago!”
“It's a nice story. Don't you agree with me?”
“...I don't mind that one.”
“...Someone's a romaaaaaaaantic...”
“Am not.”
“Yeah right.”
"Now don't be ridiculous. One person dying to protect their loved one is not romantic. No not at all."
"That's not helping."
"I think that was kinda the point. But yeah, you're right – it's not romantic after all. My mistake."
"Or heartbreaking. Nothing heartbreaking about that set-up at all."
"But I bet you don't see what the hell we're talking about, are ya."
"Of course you don't."
“Stop it. You should be happy. Both Roam-the-Land and Wish-for-the-Sky are in that story.”
"The story with the absolutely not romantic, in no way heartbreaking ending."
"That one."
"…"
"Joking aside, it's not even a role, it's a – a cameo."
"Yeah, and I'm not listening to your angst fest a mere three days after the last one. 'Sides you're in a shitty state afterwards and you need to wake up early tomorrow."
"A bit rich, coming from the one who goes to sleep sniffling and upset for hours, but why not?"
“Hey, buddy, I'm not the one asking for it. And so what if I'm upset? Damn right that story is upsetting! It's way upsetting!”
“How can you possibly stand Wish-for-the-Sky if you don't like upsetting?”
“Because that story ends well!”
“...Baby.”
“At least I don't pretend I'm all tough and stuff!”
“That's because you aren't.”
“And you're a big jerk. Scaredy-cat.”
“And there they go...”
“You, stay out of it. And why exactly do you call me a scaredy-cat, loser?”
“Durrr, not sure. Maybe 'cause you're denial that you're a closet romantic for the Snow story? You drop the act, and maybe I'll start not seeing you as a closed-off stuck-up scaredy-cat.”
"Will you drop it with the Snow story already?!"
"Children."
Silence.
"Am I to take this you leave it to me to decide on tonight's story?"
"Um no."
"Hell no."
"We were almost done choosing anyway – right?"
"Right – anything that's not about Psycho Inc.'s fine by me."
"Yes. Just – no puppetmaster this time."
"Never again. No puppetmaster."
"… I don't get it. Why puppetmaster specifically? I mean, how is it worse than the freaky immortal guy or the freaky person with mouths in his palms or the freaky loud one with no actual face?"
"Oh, that's right. You weren't there last time. Well. Let's just put it this way."
"You don't want to know."
"Well, now I do."
"Oh, for – we'll tell you later, okay?"
"You will. I certainly won't. …And no amount of 'scaredy-cats' will make me change my mind."
"Were you born this big a pain in the ass, or does this take special efforts?"
"The way you three interact make me think their story might be a good idea."
"'Their'?"
"Shatter-the-Earth, Roam-the-Land, and Wish-for-the-Sky."
Silence.
"…Puppets?"
"Recalling a distinct lack of puppets from my end. Maybe in the versions you weren't old enough to hear before now."
"I don't think we're old enough now."
"I don't think we'll ever be old enough."
"…I don't think we heard it for a while. Hey, I like that one! Okay, sensei. Shatter-the-Earth, Roam-the-Land, and Wish-for-the-Sky it is."
"…Don't speak as though you're our leader, idiot."
"Don't pay attention to them, sensei. I'm listening – and they will be listening soon enough if they know what's good for them."
"Thank you. So. Imagine, if you can, an entire village built in trees. They say that the trees were on fire, but I'm not too sure what to make of it. One interpretation is that the village was goin' down, another that passions blazed strong in the villagers' heart, another yet that the village was the thing keeping the country warm and safe."
"Hey, hey, maybe the inhabitants could command to fire! They were ninjas, right? Betcha they could command to fire!"
"Freak, normal people do not command fire. And your fire-summoning skills being what they are, I wouldn't call too much attention on those if I were you."
"Ya're just jealous."
"Of your mad roasting-the-entire-camp-to-ashes abilities? I think not."
"Maybe they could do katon and were just as clumsy as you, then. That'd make sense. …Wouldn't it make sense, sensei?"
"Personally, I'd tend to think it's related to the fact that on the night our story begins, the village was being wrecked by a monster of mythical proportions, but whatever works for you."
"…The village was being wrecked?"
"The tails of the fox lashed at the air like whips of sizzling chakra, and its growls filled the atmosphere like hissing thunder, its ivory fangs cutting through the smoke like lightning through the clouds. Under the beast the villagers were running and shouting, fleeing or fighting, civilians and shinobis alike were crunched in the fox's jaws or under its wiry paws; people were dying, and the village reeked with the smell of burnt flesh.
"The brave inhabitants of the village were fighting to the death-"
"Sensei…"
"Well, they were."
"Yes, but hearing you talk like that is disturbing."
"…Okay, so they were being slaughtered on a big scale, due to panic, incompetence, and general bad luck. Better?"
"…"
"We are talking about the village of our heroes, here?"
"Yes?"
"…Just checking."
"Go on."
"To make things worse, no one knew how to defeat the demon – the fox wasn't a mere beast, it had a clever, cunning intelligence and cruel single-mindedness. A bit like the three of you put together, except that it was strong.
"And to make things even worse, the leader of the ninjas had gone missing.
"Now, everybody loved him and would've gladly died for him several times in a row, because he had the sunniest smile ever and he had a way of looking at you as though you were the only person alive, even if many people thought he was slightly insane.
“His advisers were freaking out a bit and his guards were looking everywhere but at each other, because every look would've been an accusation and they knew better than anyone that there was no point of accusing one another of 'how could you take your eyes away from him? What sort of a bodyguard are you if you can't even protect your leader?' since, over the past months – all the months since he'd been made leader, really – they'd been regularly losing track of him."
"How regularly?"
"Once or twice a day."
"…Wow, did they suck."
"Well, in their defense the leader was the fastest shinobi ever to grow up in the village, and he had a way of thinking around the angles that no guard in his right mind could be expected to understand least they were discharged for growing eccentricity that got in the way of doing their jobs. Besides half the time he strolled in ten minutes later with a small provision of dango which he wasn't adverse to sharing, or fresh flowers for his office, and always, always a sunny smile on his lips.
"On top of that he was a great leader as well as the one who'd stopped the war – oh yeah, there'd been a war, decades of war-mongering, lots of people dying, really awful – so none of his guards felt the right to deprive him of his small pleasures.
"Sometimes they even conversed among themselves that with everything he'd done, he'd deserved a bit o' quiet and a life of his own, because it certainly felt to them as though his entire life was devoted to his office, with the occasional side-dish of his previous students, but they tended to enter his office-related mood, even though he did chat about their personal life, because, as far as the guards had seen, his way of dealing with everyone required a pinch of attention about their personal lives. At least the former leader had had a family, as complicated as his relations with it were.
"So everyone was part freaking out part trying to analyze the situation with a cool mind when one of the leader's students glimpsed at something through the window. It was too fast to be anything but the leader, so the two students jumped out of the window to run after their sensei, leaving the guards to explain the situation and the advisers to try and figure out what he was going to try.
"The two students could catch up with their sensei when he paused, waiting for them but looking straight ahead. His white cloak was flapping and billowing behind him; the flames danced on and around it.
"He had a small bundle in his arms. It was a kid; a new-born kid.”
“His child.”
“You again on that?”
“Everyone knows that, there’s no point in repeating it.”
“What, you too?”
“Well, he is.”
“He is.”
“You’re just jumpin’ to conclusions for which you don’t have the shadow of a proof!”
“There are plenty of proofs, you’re just too stupid to see them.”
“And anyway, how do you know the kid’s a boy? Could be a girl, for all we know, and wouldn’t you look stupid.”
“Except we already know the story. We know it’s a boy.”
“And we know he’s his son. Get over it.”
“You’re both full of air.”
“Dammit, why don’t you just admit, for once—”
“Look, obviously there’s no use trying to talk about it. Let’s just get back to the story, okay? We’ll have the answer soon enough, anyway, and I know someone who’s going to look dumb when we do.”
"Neither one of the students knew what their sensei had in mind, but both understood everything about the small flicker of life in their teacher's arms.
"Then they all started running again, the students shadowing their sensei, running towards the laughing demon.
"Long story short; one student died, one didn't, nothing was left of the leader of the village of burning trees, and Roam-the-Land opened eyes that were as blue as a summer sky.
"Everyone agree with that version or is something missing?
"Great, then we can go to the beginning. That, you understand, was the prologue.
“So, in the beginning, there was a ninja clan with members that tended not to sleep enough; they were renowned for spending much of their nights slaving away on neat jutsus and ridiculously complicated scrolls. But, as they were law-abiding individuals, they made sure to keep to the curfew ordered during the war, and never used an source of light during their nightly activities.
"As a result, their eyes were red with blood and lack of sleep."
"Sensei!"
“Well, call that however you like, but facts don’t lie. They had red eyes. Only part of the time, too.”
“...I’d forgotten how freaky this story started as.”
“Betcha you don’t think katon is so creepy now.”
“Idiot, nothing can make breathing fire not freaky. Besides, your eyes do often turn red. From crying.”
“You—Take it back!”
“Oh for the love of—OW! BOTH OF YOU WATCH WHERE YOU’RE KICKING, NOW!”
“Children.”
Shuffling dying out.
“That is better.
“Now, it just so happens that our red-eyed clan also had a specialty in fire jutsu – they could breathe fire! It made them one of the most respected clan in their village, because they were flaming.”
Minor aneurysms are avoided by selective application of a fist upon a skull.
“Eurk...”
“Heh.”
“So maybe their eyes were just red from the fire, sensei.”
“That’s a possibility.”
“STOP SNICKERING, BASTARD!”
“What are you talking about, moron? I’m not even looking at you.”
“YOU ARE SNICKERING IN YOUR SOUL. I CAN FEEL IT.”
“And now you’re a mind-reader on top of it. Have you already considered a career as a circus freak?”
“SHUT UP BITCH.”
“You’d be much better at it than you are as a ninja, that’s for sure.”
“I—YOU—”
“Then again, it wouldn’t be hard.”
“I CAN KICK YOUR ASS ANY TIME I WANT.”
“Oh, god...”
“Really? I must have imagined the last – was if fifty or sixty times?”
“...That’s it. Stand up and fight.”
“Gladly.”
“Sensei, why don’t you just – do something?”
“Haven’t you learnt by now that sometimes it’s better to let things run their course?”
“...Sensei, I’m going to be the one who has to deal with their whining afterwards.”
“Then you should be the one doing something, don’t you think?”
“I have your blessing? Oh, good.”
“—MAKE YOU EAT YOUR WORDS, ASSHOLE—ow ow ow lemme go please lemme go owwww.”
“...glurk...”
“Both you stop, sit, and shut up. I want to hear the rest of the story. Please go on, sensei.”
“You’re holding them tight enough?”
“Oh, yes.”
“t-too t-ght...”
“...”
“Sorry, what did you say?”
“c-n’t breath- oo’r –olding t’t-ght...”
“Hrm. You’re strangling me.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“...don’t mention it.”
“dis ith SO NOT FAIR!!! ack—”
“So, I was saying. Oh yes, the clan. So, you see, in that clan a child was born, and he had hair as black as ink and skin as white as the moon, and its eyes would in time burn, but for now he was just a charming little creature whose chubby legs could barely carry him long or fast enough to run after his older brother, for he had an older brother he adored, and who dotted on him.
“And so his name was not Wish-for-the-Sky yet.”
“Do we know how he was called?”
“We'll get to that when Roam-the-Land and Shatter-the-Earth finally learn about it. It wouldn't be fair if you knew that already when they don't, don't you think?
“The story wouldn't be as interesting.”
“Oh, great! So we'll know very quickly then!”
“No, for it was many eternities before Wish-for-the-Sky would tell Roam-the-Land and Shatter-the-Earth.”
“...What an insufferable jerk.”
“I'M SORRY WHAT DID YOU SAY.”
“Called him a righteous jerk, what else?”
“He is.”
“WHAT, YOU TOO?”
“Look, I really like him, but you've got to admit he is a jerk when the story starts.”
“He's also one when the story stops.”
“Well, yeah, but that's not the point. When the story ends he's their jerk.”
“Hn.”
“That's it! He's their jerk, so it doesn't count!”
“Let's get on with the story, shall we?”
“What of Shatter-the-Earth then, sensei?”
“She was a bud among flowers. But they didn't know her then, and she didn't know herself. She lived for the boy who would grow to be Wish-for-the-Sky since the day he had lit within her a fire no water could extinguish, but she shunned Roam-the-Land because she blamed him for her being lost.”
“I forgot how much of a bitch she was at the beginning.”
“Now, now. She's not a bitch, she's just...”
“--ANNOYING!”
“--ANNOYING!”
“--Annoying.”
“...Done laughing, children? Well, then, it's now that I must tell you that it all actually starts long after they'd met one another for the first time.
“No, it actually starts when the three of them were waiting for their sensei – for ninja back then had sensei too.
“Wish-for-the-Sky was wishing to be anywhere else, Roam-the-Land and Shatter-the-Earth were bickering, Roam-the-Land roaming nowhere further than the boundaries of their waiting place and Shatter-the-Earth shattering nothing more than the other two's eardrums.
“Their sensei was late.”
“That reminds me of someone...”
“Yeah, and ditto.”
“...” but the silence is heavy with meaning.
“Really? How strange.
“Anyway, there they were, and--”
“STOP MOVING.”
“My legs are going numb, I can't help it!”
“...you want us to help other parts of of you to go numb as well?”
“Guuuuuyyyyyyysssss...”
“Just... be quiet, okay? Stop fidgeting and stay quiet.”
“You're ruining the story.”
“So you DO care about story-time after all!”
“...No I don't I just care about you not getting on my nerves that's all.”
“Hehehehe...”
“I don't and I don't care what you think.”
“...Aww, but we care about you, you itty-bitty weetle woobie! And it makes us happy that you're finally coming to appreciate the--”
“End that sentence and I will end you.”
“Guys, seriously, not again...”
And so the story goes.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2008-11-08 06:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-09 01:22 am (UTC)O wait.
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Date: 2008-11-10 03:06 pm (UTC)Double lol @ your icon.
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Date: 2008-11-08 06:27 pm (UTC)XD
Crackalicious, especially all the irony of Sasuke realizing what a prick he is. ^^
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Date: 2008-11-09 01:24 am (UTC)I don't think Sasuke likes himself in canon. He does the Things He Has To Do, but he doesn't like himself, either for doing them either for failing at them. That kid is such a masochist. Blue here haets him. haets!
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Date: 2008-11-09 01:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-08 07:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-09 01:28 am (UTC)I'm glad you like the names, they were the first thing I imagined!
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Date: 2008-11-08 09:25 pm (UTC)I loved how Sasuke could see that he was a jerk from this different perspective and yet Naruto still stuck up for him. AWW! XD
This is cracktastic and fantastic and I adored it to bits! And the colored text too. ^^
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Date: 2008-11-09 01:33 am (UTC)I'm glad you liked it! :D
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Date: 2008-11-08 10:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-09 01:39 am (UTC)Yeah he knows that but he doesn't like it when the two others shove what happens later in the story in his face. He likes feeling like he's rediscovering the story every time! (And he is because their sensei never gives the same version twice.) BUT SAKURA AND SASUKE ROUTINELY SMASH THE FOURTH WALL. T___T
Also Sasuke hates himself. Or hates what he has to do, at least. And here he can be HONEST about it. ...Or as honest as he ever is. (hint: DENIALS MEAN HE LOVES YOU.)
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Date: 2008-11-08 10:30 pm (UTC)awesome job - many *hearts for you!
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Date: 2008-11-09 01:44 am (UTC)♥ <- i looked up that code specifically to put it in the title and cackle madly, how wrong is that? but nevertheless quite felt, ♥
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Date: 2008-11-09 06:13 am (UTC)flippin adorable this was xD I think it made me mostly -sad- though because I can totally see them all arguing like that, but they're not like that anymore in the anime/manga, and i MISS that of all of them. T_T You kept them so in-character throughout their exchanged dialogue that I wanted to huge all of them and cry a great waterfall ;o;
ily for writing this. ♥♥♥ it reminded me why i love team seven. ♥
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Date: 2008-11-09 06:14 am (UTC)stupid typos.
♥
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Date: 2008-11-09 09:24 am (UTC)Your icon makes me very happy.
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Date: 2008-11-09 07:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-09 09:36 am (UTC)I'm glad you like!
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Date: 2008-11-09 07:54 pm (UTC)Omigod, he was reduced to begging so quickly. *laughing with tears* I wish I could see the hold she had on him. It probably involved bending arms in unnatural directions.
Woah, Sasuke is Wish-for-the-Sky? I thought a name like that would fit Naruto. And Roam-the-Land sounds like a sad name for Naruto, because he should be in Konoha.
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Date: 2008-11-09 10:55 pm (UTC)I like Wish-for-the-Sky as a name for Sasuke because it's about a dream that can never be reached, and it's a name that means he won't see other things, such as his teammates. Would it make you feel better if I said Naruto's name refers to his travels with Jiraiya, and later to find Sasuke? To my mind that was it. (But worry not! They all got their happy ending and Naruto became the Hokage. :D)
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Date: 2008-11-10 08:54 pm (UTC)And Shatter-the-Earth is such a kick ass, totally awesome for Sakura. V^____^
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Date: 2008-11-10 08:35 am (UTC)Wish-you-would-continue.
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Date: 2008-11-10 11:21 am (UTC)He could've been, the same way if Naruto's name was Wish-for-the-Sky it'd make sense too, because Kishi loooves associating/contrasting them. I claim that Naruto inherited the "he travelled a lot" part of Jiraiya's reputation for the following generations. A thing about Sasuke is that I think he's too focused for to actually roam - he goes from one place to another, but it's always planned and there's a reason for it. (Now, if Team Hawk could drag him to a beach somewhere to get a tan and relax...) But I can see why you'd think that.
If inspiration strikes again, sure.
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Date: 2008-11-10 09:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-10 09:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 06:09 pm (UTC)