[Naruto] Not Bliss
Jan. 20th, 2008 11:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
runespoorI has birthday. Obviously, it's the best possible day to post Sasuke angst.
Title: Not Bliss
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
runespoor7
Rating: PG
Summary: When he left Konoha, Sasuke didn’t know about the Kyuubi.
Notes: This owes a lot tospexxor’s Stone Skipping, and probably to a number of other Naruto-and-Sasuke centered fics.
During the first few months Sasuke spends grabbing everything Orochimaru sends at him – enough that, unlike what he dreaded, he doesn’t need to insist upon being taught more, because the Snake Sannin is one of the most efficient teachers the Leaf ever produced – he doesn’t think about why he came to Orochimaru.
The answer is glaring enough – sizzling between his fingers when Orochimaru encourages him to practice exercises that make him focus Chidori until he can twist it any shape strikes his fancy – that he doesn’t need to wonder.
He doesn’t think about why he left Konoha either, but that’s because he doesn’t want to think about Naruto.
And Sakura, and Kakashi.
But mostly Naruto.
He doesn’t want to think about Kakashi lecturing him or about Sakura’s tears, but not half as much as he doesn’t want to think about the fight with Naruto.
Any fight with Naruto, really.
Because when he does, it’s hard to remember that he’s the one who won the fight, in the end. He can’t shake the thought that Naruto was aiming at his brow, not his chest, and that when he left, there was a deep slash across the Leaf symbol. Naruto, after all, was right. He could put a scratch on Sasuke.
And that was, of course, why Sasuke had to leave. Kakashi’s teachings were useful, but Sasuke suddenly wasn’t good enough to keep beating on Naruto.
Sasuke doesn’t want to remember what powerlessness feels like, so he doesn’t think of Naruto. Even if thinking of Naruto makes him train even harder.
Five months into his apprenticeship, Orochimaru tells him about the Kyuubi. Or rather, he reminds him, mentions it between two commas; as if was something Sasuke should already know.
At the time Orochimaru is talking about using one’s advantages to the utmost, and Naruto’s name comes up in relation with the Nine-Tailed Fox.
The electrical chakra on Sasuke’s katana fizzles and dies.
Orochimaru’s face goes blank for too short an instant for the reaction to be anything but genuine.
“What, didn’t you know, Sasuke-kun?” he mutters, in a musing tone.
Sasuke stares at his master. Through his numbness, he tries to count the ways Orochimaru may be lying to him. Can Orochimaru have reasons to make Sasuke believe that? What game can he be playing this time? He generally doesn’t find Sasuke excuses for falling so behind that Naruto could catch up with him...
Before Sasuke’s troubled eyes, Orochimaru’s lips elongate and he bursts out laughing.
Orochimaru’s laughter reverberates on the red stone of the chamber walls, and Sasuke wants to flinch.
Later, when Sasuke has stopped training for hours now and he’s in the room that is his, preparing to go to bed, he stays unmoving for long minutes before his fist punches the wall. His breathing comes uneven and ragged in the silent room. Orochimaru’s laughter echoes in his ears, and beyond the fear and the anger, Sasuke has the confusing hunch that he is being humiliated beyond mere mocking.
After that, Orochimaru never misses an opportunity to use Naruto’s name. Every time he does, there’s the faintest trace of a smirk curling his lips. After a while Sasuke learns to control his reaction; to hide it so well, bury it so deeply he sometimes thinks there’s nothing to be hidden anymore.
He doesn’t like thinking of Naruto any more after the revelation than he did before, though.
Because when he does, he has to think about why he left Konoha.
And then Sasuke is forced to admit that his reasons for leaving are not as clear-cut as they once seemed. Because Naruto’s power really was the Kyuubi’s, and he hadn’t been falling behind after all.
So Sasuke, instead, focuses on the power Orochimaru is feeding him, obligingly, smilingly; and he ignores the weight of the Sannin’s ironical looks.
He was right to leave.
“Didn’t you know, Sasuke-kun?”
He has to have been right.
Title: Not Bliss
Author:
runespoor7Rating: PG
Summary: When he left Konoha, Sasuke didn’t know about the Kyuubi.
Notes: This owes a lot to
spexxor’s Stone Skipping, and probably to a number of other Naruto-and-Sasuke centered fics.During the first few months Sasuke spends grabbing everything Orochimaru sends at him – enough that, unlike what he dreaded, he doesn’t need to insist upon being taught more, because the Snake Sannin is one of the most efficient teachers the Leaf ever produced – he doesn’t think about why he came to Orochimaru.
The answer is glaring enough – sizzling between his fingers when Orochimaru encourages him to practice exercises that make him focus Chidori until he can twist it any shape strikes his fancy – that he doesn’t need to wonder.
He doesn’t think about why he left Konoha either, but that’s because he doesn’t want to think about Naruto.
And Sakura, and Kakashi.
But mostly Naruto.
He doesn’t want to think about Kakashi lecturing him or about Sakura’s tears, but not half as much as he doesn’t want to think about the fight with Naruto.
Any fight with Naruto, really.
Because when he does, it’s hard to remember that he’s the one who won the fight, in the end. He can’t shake the thought that Naruto was aiming at his brow, not his chest, and that when he left, there was a deep slash across the Leaf symbol. Naruto, after all, was right. He could put a scratch on Sasuke.
And that was, of course, why Sasuke had to leave. Kakashi’s teachings were useful, but Sasuke suddenly wasn’t good enough to keep beating on Naruto.
Sasuke doesn’t want to remember what powerlessness feels like, so he doesn’t think of Naruto. Even if thinking of Naruto makes him train even harder.
Five months into his apprenticeship, Orochimaru tells him about the Kyuubi. Or rather, he reminds him, mentions it between two commas; as if was something Sasuke should already know.
At the time Orochimaru is talking about using one’s advantages to the utmost, and Naruto’s name comes up in relation with the Nine-Tailed Fox.
The electrical chakra on Sasuke’s katana fizzles and dies.
Orochimaru’s face goes blank for too short an instant for the reaction to be anything but genuine.
“What, didn’t you know, Sasuke-kun?” he mutters, in a musing tone.
Sasuke stares at his master. Through his numbness, he tries to count the ways Orochimaru may be lying to him. Can Orochimaru have reasons to make Sasuke believe that? What game can he be playing this time? He generally doesn’t find Sasuke excuses for falling so behind that Naruto could catch up with him...
Before Sasuke’s troubled eyes, Orochimaru’s lips elongate and he bursts out laughing.
Orochimaru’s laughter reverberates on the red stone of the chamber walls, and Sasuke wants to flinch.
Later, when Sasuke has stopped training for hours now and he’s in the room that is his, preparing to go to bed, he stays unmoving for long minutes before his fist punches the wall. His breathing comes uneven and ragged in the silent room. Orochimaru’s laughter echoes in his ears, and beyond the fear and the anger, Sasuke has the confusing hunch that he is being humiliated beyond mere mocking.
After that, Orochimaru never misses an opportunity to use Naruto’s name. Every time he does, there’s the faintest trace of a smirk curling his lips. After a while Sasuke learns to control his reaction; to hide it so well, bury it so deeply he sometimes thinks there’s nothing to be hidden anymore.
He doesn’t like thinking of Naruto any more after the revelation than he did before, though.
Because when he does, he has to think about why he left Konoha.
And then Sasuke is forced to admit that his reasons for leaving are not as clear-cut as they once seemed. Because Naruto’s power really was the Kyuubi’s, and he hadn’t been falling behind after all.
So Sasuke, instead, focuses on the power Orochimaru is feeding him, obligingly, smilingly; and he ignores the weight of the Sannin’s ironical looks.
He was right to leave.
“Didn’t you know, Sasuke-kun?”
He has to have been right.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-01-20 11:59 am (UTC)Wonderful job!
no subject
Date: 2008-01-21 11:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-20 02:49 pm (UTC)Happy birthday!
no subject
Date: 2008-01-21 11:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-20 03:16 pm (UTC)Also, the description of Orochimaru's lips elongating was very creepy (in a good way :D). And the part about Sasuke learning to control his reaction--it matches nicely with his reaction in Part II when he sees Naruto (i.e. not much at all :P).
I really liked it. Great job! Also, happy birthday to you! :)
no subject
Date: 2008-01-21 11:40 am (UTC)Thank you a lot for your kind words!
no subject
Date: 2008-01-20 05:16 pm (UTC)“Didn’t you know, Sasuke-kun?”
He has to have been right.
*shudders deliciously in sadness, horror, and from the sexy that is this piece*
There is so much to say - the introspection, the characterizations, the prose! I throughly enjoyed it, and am trying very hard to shake the eerie-awesome feeling it's given me. :)
no subject
Date: 2008-01-21 11:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-21 04:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-21 11:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-22 12:55 am (UTC)HAPPY BIRTHDAY, btw. You want I write something for you? :D
(22 don't remind me)
22? IS NOTHING.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-22 02:32 pm (UTC)BUT IT WAS NICE SEEING SASUKE GETTING ANGRY AND SPITTING AND ALL AT ITACHI.
AND THE 'And next I'll kill Madara'. MADE ME LOL. Because he has no idea of Madara's involvement. Did he run a blade through people's chests? Or did he just delay people while Itachi killed them? Or maybe he only encouraged Itachi.
And who next, after Madara? Maybe Itachi wouldn't have been half as unhinged if he hadn't been in ANBU. So that means the people who made him ANBU have to go. And obviously the person who told him about the shrine. And there's no reason to stop, really, because the village was guilty for not seeing what was going to happen.
Poor Sasuke on his road to madness. *is sadistically, horrifiedly amused*
WELL, IF YOU WANT TO WRITE SOMETHING, I WON'T STOP YOU. But seriously, you don't have to.
I don't feel old, I feel useless.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-25 04:12 am (UTC)Said reunion was the basis of this ficlet, because there's bound to have been something during his training with Oro that made him able to keep such an implacable composure in front of Naruto.
I really wish sometimes that Kishi had given us more of a glimpse of what was going with Sasuke and Oro in Sound. There's just so much left unsaid and now that Oro's gone, it probably won't ever be discussed. ;-;
BUT IT WAS NICE SEEING SASUKE GETTING ANGRY AND SPITTING AND ALL AT ITACHI.
UNFORTUNATELY ITACHI'S CRAZYFACE HAS SURPASSED SASUKE'S BITCHFACE. Again, his older brother has left him behind. :D:D
And who next, after Madara? Maybe Itachi wouldn't have been half as unhinged if he hadn't been in ANBU. So that means the people who made him ANBU have to go. And obviously the person who told him about the shrine. And there's no reason to stop, really, because the village was guilty for not seeing what was going to happen.
The next logical step after Madara would be to kill his parents for spawning Itachi in the first place, but whoops, they're already dead. ;) I have a very amusing mental picture of Sasuke wandering around coming up with new justifications to take revenge on random people that are just barely connected to everything--like the old Chinese custom of punishing the whole family down to like 9th cousins removed for severe crimes.
Y'know, someone could do a great parody of that...
Poor Sasuke on his road to madness. *is sadistically, horrifiedly amused*
Did you see the confirmed spoilers for the latest chapter, because I have never, ever seen so much LOL in all the time I've been reading Naruto: Itachi just took a glorious swan drive off the Cliffs of Batshit and Sasuke is now the sane one. Well, him and Kisame. THE SHOCK OF SEEING ITACHI'S CRAZY FACE GAVE ME THIS COLD, I SWEAR (but Mexican Hat Itachi parody over at
WELL, IF YOU WANT TO WRITE SOMETHING, I WON'T STOP YOU.
IS THAT A VEILED REQUEST FOR PORN. :D It might take a while because there are many, many possibilities to choose from. *rubs hands together*
I don't feel old, I feel useless.
*joins you* :/ Nothing like a long-term unsuccessful job hunt to make you feel like crap...