[Meme + Drabble-type meme answers]

[runespoor]

Okay! Here are the answers I wrote for the Ask a Character a Question meme.

[Celebrationverse. Answers totally contain things that could be construed as potential/implied spoilers. weeee, rhetorical precautions!]

Neji: How would you react if Hinata began a serious and loving relationship with someone else after her return? And how do you feel about her now?

[more-or-less Day in the Life time set.]
I have serious doubts about that ever happening.

But, on the off-chance that she ever gets well enough to open up that way, and foolish enough to fall for someone who wouldn't have the good sense to step back, my place wouldn't change unless Hinata-sama herself required it of me. I have been told that she's compartmentalising in order to deal with things that have upset her, and particularly with her duties as a member of Interrogation, so I will, of course, still perform the same services – it is part of my duty as her shadow – unless her boyfriend takes these responsibilities over. Which, for a variety of reasons, is not happening. Premium among these reasons being that the boyfriend would never be Yakushi Kabuto. And that is enough to make the whole discussion pointless, isn't it?

She wouldn't be able to carry on with something as simple as 'a serious and loving relationship'. She would turn to me, or to who-knows-what-else, and after a while she would either feel too guilty to continue or she would be caught. She would separate even more the different parts of her life, and this would leave her even more vulnerable.

I would let her do as she chooses, and take her own decisions. Hopefully. I – my control is still not as foolproof as it should be.

Whatever my feelings for her are, they matter less than what I can do for her.

Hinata: What was the worst thing that Kabuto did to you during your captivity? The best? And what do you believe was his ultimate purpose for you?

I-I have no idea.

I don't remember it all that well, really. Sometimes I have dreams, and – they're very realistic, it becomes a little difficult to differentiate if I'm not concentrating. I think they're dreams. They're not memories – at least I don't think so. I mean nightmares.

But apart from this aspect of the question, I – don't know. Everything he did – or may have done – gets blurred, in the sense that it was always Kabuto-san who did it – every single part of it, it didn't matter what, it was always him. I think that was much more important than what he did. It's the only reason to explain some of what he did, anyway, that he was Kabuto-san and I was a prisoner.

I suppose I must have amused him, otherwise he wouldn't have spent so much time talking with me, admitting it wasn't a genjutsu or merely to make me relax – or tense up. I must have been very entertaining a prisoner, because I can't ever remember not second and triple-guessing myself whenever he said something and I somehow reacted, and I know Kabuto-san was interested in the human psyche as well.

Oh, no, that's right, his goal was to study the Byakugan. Orochimaru wanted him to study it as extensively as possible so he might be able to copy it. It slips from my mind sometimes.

Kabuto (through the help of a medium, I suppose): Did you at all grow fond of Hinata during her stay with you? And in the end, did her final act of strength towards you take you by surprise?

Yes, of course. She's a very likable young woman. *smiles* I must say that I was more surprised by the desperation of her gesture. I didn't expect her to have shinobi instincts of ranking one's mission above one's life ingrained quite so deep. Obviously. I didn't imagine she would be quick and unpredictable enough to pull it off, either; it really is one of the things she had in common with Naruto-kun after all.

Sasuke: Did you take any notice of Hinata AT ALL when she was at the Sound?

I wasn't in Sound. Orochimaru attacked Konoha because I had left Sound and she was captured during the war. I'm sure it made sense to him.


[From the Things that could have happened had Hizashi been the older son drabbles]

Neji: After you noticed your cousin was pretty during the Chuunin exams, were you ever tempted to make any, ah, arrangements with her? ;)

We have taken to training together. Is it the sort of arrangement you are referring to?

Hinata: Do you believe you would have been any happier if you were in the main house?

[this is a little difficult considering the particular verses all diverge at different points in time, and so she wouldn't always give the same answer, but the most likely one is:]
No, why would I?

Hiashi (through a medium again!): Would you have been proud if you saw the person Hinata has turned into now? ...Or worried about her?

[again, he probably wouldn't answer the same thing every time, but the gist of it is:]
That was never what I wanted for her.

Ten Ten: What went down after Neji took the scroll from Hinata in the forest of death? And how did that affect your view of him?

…We fought it off. I mean we had a row. And Neji just didn't understand that there was anything wrong with what he had done.

I mean, I know I used to joke about entitlement issues from time to time, but I'd never have guessed – he was never like that with us. Or with anyone else, for that matter.

Though – you know, retrospectively, I wonder.

Maybe there were things during our missions, when we talked with civilians, hints, maybe I just didn't realise what was going on. I can't believe Lee and I were that oblivious. I mean, how were we supposed to figure something like that out?! He's my teammate, not – it's not as if our souls were forever bonded or I don't know what crap! I know how he works, how he reacts, I know his strengths and his weaknesses, I know what he doesn't like having to deal with – the three of us. A team, that should be enough, right?

Guess I can't help but feel betrayed. (And guilty, okay, but honestly how could we possibly see that one coming?)

Lee and I, we trusted him. And maybe it's because he's our team leader – and you know, he earned that, neither Lee nor I are really the type to cower and roll over just because someone tells us so, and the only reason he became our leader was because he made good plans and he listened when we argued he'd overlooked something or we had a more workable idea – but I felt betrayed. It was like he was betraying the team.

He was taking a decision that wasn't just his, he just went ahead.

And like Lee said, on top of everything else it was a short-cut. A short-cut. Like any of us had got where we were because we'd taken short-cuts!

Except him, for all I know now. I would never have believed that before, because he had a very strict work ethic and he's never been into slacking off – it's gonna sound strange, but I thought he had honour, you know.

I mean, he's a competent ninja so we always sneaked around and everything if we could avoid straight fights, but you could see he didn't like that. And even when he fights – he never attacks without a warning. Which I always thought makes him sound kinda pompous because he always announces that he is a Hyuuga blablabla, and that was out of place for a shinobi, but yeah.

Honourable.

And that poor girl – Hinata, right – it was as if she wasn't even a person, the way he treated her. I don't know what I'd have done in her place. Okay, I'd probably have gone for my shuriken, but when I think about it – if I'd been treated like that all my life? I have no idea what I'd be now.

I just hope her teammates stuck by her, because… yeah. Poor girl makes it to the second test of the chuunin exam, she's a rookie, everything's going just fine, and then – wham. End of dream.

So if on top of that her teammates hated her after that… I couldn't blame them for it, though. Kami know how I'd have reacted if it had been Neji giving our scroll over.

Not sure though, because after all she's the victim there – and I don't know how the Hyuuga works but I've got to say, if it's a matter of breaking up one's team vs politely telling the stuck-up heir that he can go and find his own roll and put it up his ass, and 'betraying one's team' sounds like the better option? Yeah, something's seriously wrong.

But he just didn't get it.

And – well, okay, I'm not especially proud of it now, at least I wish things could have been different – but in the end Lee and I just took the pouch in which he'd put the scrolls – Neji wasn't that far gone that he'd attack us himself, I think, or else he was just dumbstruck, and I had shiny pointy things aimed straight at him – and I think we were going to go after the rookies and give it back, and you know, if Lee insisted I'd have been ready to give them ours as well, and then he tried to take it back, and that may have been panic or maybe Lee just slipped, which if you know him at all you know is unlikely as me going blonde, because Lee? Taijutsu master, and perfect physical control? You can bet, and panic? Panic? Lee? Ha right.

So anyway, we had the scrolls in our hands and Neji tried to take them back, and the scroll –

It opened, okay?

Next thing I know I'm in the hospital and the second trial is over. So we never made it to the third test, in the end.

But you know, in a way I think perhaps it's not that bad.

I mean sure, technically we'd lost six months.

And okay, Gai-sensei hasn't let us take that exam – because you can bet Lee and I told him everything about why we'd acted the way we did. I'm not sure if he was really ecstatic about what we'd done, but I can tell you, he was much more angry/disappointed in Neji right then.

He's not going to recommend us for another exam until we relearn how to work as a team, he says.

I know that for Lee and I, it means that we have to relearn how to trust Neji again, and that is never going to happen unless Neji clears whatever's his deal in his clan. I have no idea how long that's going to take, but Gai-sensei's already told us that he's ready to recommend Lee and me if we want to take part in an exam as members of another team.

Maybe that's what we're going to do. Yamanaka Ino has been made a chuunin in the latest exam, so that leaves only Akimichi Chouji as a genin in that team.

I don't know, I haven't talked to Lee about it yet. In a way it'd be depressing, but in another –

I know that Hinata's team hasn't been allowed to take last exam either; supposedly because it was taking place in Mist, and the Hyuuga has history with Mist. So if we do enter this session, maybe we'll meet them. If the Hyuuga allows her to enter, that is, and if they don't I don't know what I'm going to do, but it's not fair that she gets punished for something Lee and I did because of what our teammate had done. Luckily her sensei's Kurenai-san, and she's never been the type to let herself be bullied by big clans and names and jackasses who treat people as if they were pieces of furniture.

If they do enter, though – and maybe even if they don't, I don't know yet, maybe I should talk with Lee, people make fun of him but he gives good advice, sometimes – then I'll talk to them. At least to tell them I'm sorry, even if that's not going to help anything.

Wow, I've really rambled. And usually that's not my thing, but I guess I just needed to get it off my chest. Not sure if that answers your questions, but… *shrugs* See you again, maybe.

Hiashi: Why did you then sacrifice yourself when you knew Hinata probably needed you so badly as a child? Do you think her newfound strength after you were gone was worth the degradation she suffered without you as her buffer towards the main house?

I expect these questions cannot be avoided.

The truth is, I never intended things to go as they did; I think I must have hoped for my brother to find the strength to stand up to the Council after I had done the same to him, and not to live his life and his son's – and… Hinata's and her mother's – according to these same rules I died precisely to make him realise weren't enough.

I did think what I was saying; I was indeed willing to die so my brother would live. And… Hinata… My daughter was probably not as present to my mind as I spoke as she should have, but I was nevertheless convinced I was doing the best for her. Do you imagine for even one moment the Main House would have allowed their clan head to just die? And – if they had – do you have any idea of how the clan would have gone, under the control of the council?

My father was the one who separated my brother and me. He was the one who ordered me to be branded into the Branch House. Do you imagine how life would have gone had the clan head's power suddenly disappeared? Do you truly think my existence wouldn't have singled her out and made her a perfect target? – and Hizashi's son would never have forgiven me and would have likely transferred his hatred onto her as well.

Hinata had a mother. She had a mother, an uncle and his wife, and a cousin who was only older than her by one year. I wasn't – or at any rate I never should have been – my daughter's only support in this world.

And she was two; too young to be sealed.

Somewhere I hoped that Hizashi would find the strength to take her in as his daughter.

It is too late to have regrets or second thoughts. Yes, I dread what could happen to her – the clan's punishment if they learn she betrayed its heir; my brother, his son. I dread both of them. And I fear where this – whatever it is, this anger of hers, this willingness to break the rules, her disregard of the clan – may take her. How easily she might stumble on a wrong path. She is my daughter and I hate having to acknowledge it, but – how much farther can she go?

She has disobeyed the clan.

Worse, she has been disloyal to someone – a person, her cousin. Her circumstances were extenuating, I'll give her that. But she has. And there is only one step between disobeying the clan and disobeying the village.

And… at same time… I am astonished at the resources of strength, fortitude, and determination she found and showed. I am wary of what may become of her – but I am also proud that she found both the will and the way to carry on her dream.

I can only hope it will not be her downfall. I do not want her to prove me right after all, that maybe she would have been happier if she wasn't a shinobi.

But then, there was never a choice.


Another meme ganked from mariagoner again, because the fics are kicking my ass:

If you make up titles for stories I didn't write, I will respond with details of those non-written stories.

Comments

[mariagoner.livejournal.com]

I AM ALWAYS HAPPY TO SPREAD THE SEXY MEME LOVE!

When You Last Appeared

Witching Hour

On the Other Side of Sorrow

(And finally, just because the other titles were so emo...)

You Want to Put Your What in the Where Now?!

[runespoor7.livejournal.com]

On the Other Side of Sorrow:
[hum… how up-to-date are you with the manga? Cause this is pretty much brimming with spoilers.]

Kurenai deals with Asuma's death. Life goes on as usual, except that he is dead. Her everyday life and encounters – Asuma's team, her own team, the soon-to-come baby and her indecision regarding what to do with the fighting Akatsuki etc. SupportiveBestFriend!Anko.

Sarutobi Kurenai's first fight after Asuma's death was with the numerous paperwork that would allow her to take his name as her own. Tsunade-sama may look at her with sympathy in her countenance, but Kurenai still had to fill out the requests. Her left palm rested on her belly as she pushed the pen on the paper – three weeks along, she wrote.

Two days later Kurenai received the papers that made her the widow of a man she'd never married. Widow but not wife.

Kurenai regretted the good old days when she could have got hopelessly smashed without worrying about consequences more lasting than a hangover.

She couldn't wallow in self-pity for too long, though, because Anko whirlwinded into her living room, and, having taken a look at the official letter, dragged her out and into a jeweller's shop, where Kurenai was forced into buying a wedding ring.

Anko looked particularly satisfied with herself.

(not angst. Angsty passages, but not overchoking bleakness of doom. The extract above would be the beginning, and one of the most angsty parts in the fic; there'd probably be one or two Kurenai-is-so-depressed scenes, but overall it wouldn't be that angsty and overall it would be less and less so as the fic went on. Covers at least a few months. Bff!Kurenai/Anko relationship. Pretty much a platonic romance, really.

An epilogue set a few years later would be appropriate, but I'm so not a fan of epilogues. Epilogues angst me out, particularly after a rather open ending. It's like there was this whole world of possibilities and instead of leaving well alone enough, there's this need to put the characters in a box with a neat ribbon on top, and… *shrugs* not really my thing. …I'd probably at least think about an epilogue anyway. With domestic fluff and everything and fuzzy feelings all around. I'd even think about hinty/implied KureAnko.)

When You Last Appeared:
Itachi may be finally dead, his image still imprints on everything Sasuke looks at.

(hey, a Sasuke-comes-back-to-Konoha story! Complete with Naruto and Sakura struggling to have Sasuke back, not just the handsome Uchiha body that slouches about and looks with red eyes just two inches behind and on the left of their shoulders when they're speaking at him. NaruSakuSasu. Angst and happy ending.)

Witching Hour:
It takes some time to turn Hinata to Sound. But eventually Kabuto manages. A series of encounters in the dead of the night, and the spells they cast.

But sometimes Kabuto would still feel a twinge of unease when he looked at Hinata.

(moodpiece, creepy, KabuHina.)

[mariagoner.livejournal.com]

Oh, all those sound incredibly awesome (especially the Kurenai one-- I need to go and find more good fic on her in the aftermath of it all!) but I am desperate to read Witching Hour. Desperate I say! I've been dying for more good Kabuhina fics other than Muma as of late...

[runespoor7.livejournal.com]

And for the non-emo...

You Want to Put Your What in the Where Now?!
[the obvious failed me. Thus, you get this.]

Somewhere, Shikamaru knows someone is laughing at him.

That's the only possible reason why Ino is intent on taking mental possession of Gaara's gourd. She's testing a theory, she says; after all, something that reacts on its own must have a conscience of some sort.

The worst is to come when Sakura decides to help Ino, for research's sake.

No, actually the worst is when the three of them are caught with Gaara's gourd (Shikamaru's really just trying to get them to drop it before Gaara comes back from the other room – oh shi–) and the Sand Siblings learn the truth.

Temari was snapping her fan open and closed again, which made Shikamaru understandably wary. Kankuro was just staring in disbelief as if he couldn't believe Sand had been defeated by that during the surprise attack in the chuunin exams.

Shikamaru could sympathise.

For all that Ino and Sakura were the top kunoichi of their generation – and Shikamaru had become a chuunin at twelve on brains alone – the situation didn't say a lot about Konoha's common sense.

He thought for half a second before admitting that common sense had never been all that common in the village.

He disbanded the thought in favour of regarding the red-haired ninja, who looked – slightly less impassive than usual. Shikamaru tensed and started thinking up plans of escape for the three of them.

Gaara was in fact frowning.

"You only needed to ask," he finally pointed out.

(TWT because Gaara still has Shukaku, crack, TemaShika, hints of Ino/everythingthatmoves.)

[mariagoner.livejournal.com]

I think I love you. I think I love you lots. Let's get married and have lots of pretty-- uh, actually, I can't describe the kids since I don't know what you look like but I'm sure they'll come out splendid-- lots of pretty kiddies together! XD

[laleia.livejournal.com]

The Great Hyuuga Scandal

Tale of Two (Hidden) Cities

Lady Hyuuga's Lover

Just as Good, or Not all Kuniochi Have to be Medic-Nin

Konohamaru's Visit to the Dentist

Icha Icha Fanfiction

[runespoor7.livejournal.com]

The great Hyuuga scandal:
Konoha is abuzz after learning about the situation broached upon there (http://runespoor7.livejournal.com/28243.html#cutid1). I'm going to cheat and say I already have an interest in writing that – or something like it – and I don't want to spoil myself here (if I do I'll definitely lose any motivation to actually come around and write it).

Tale of two (hidden) cities:
The thing, of course, is that no-one believes Temari and Shikamaru when they say they're not lovers. It's bothersome when it concerns just the two of them.

Then the two villages are attacked by their own countries and Daimyo, and Temari and Shikamaru realise that the fact that everyone knows about their relationship is a godsend.

First, it means that the Kages know exactly what is the origin of the rumours that set off the Daimyos' joint attack – Konoha and Suna are going to join forces and overthrow the civilian's authorities – and how jaw-droppingly unbelievable they are.

Second, it means that they're always sent on the same missions and no-one is going to suspect them of being traitors to their villages.

Third – Shikamaru could take an Akatsuki out when he was fifteen, Temari killed one of the Sound Four when she was that age as well – it's only a matter of weeks before they catch ex-Root leader Danzou and turn him over to the Daimyo to get him to confess his plan to bring the current Kages down.

Temari let out a grump. "Can't believe you Leaf-nin let that illegal extremist sub-organisation proliferate. And not assassinate that plotting madman the moment you realised he was a threat to your Hokage's position. Arbitrary power has its perks, you know that?"

Shikamaru let it go, more because he was starting to think she had a point than for the sake of the diplomatic relations.

(futurefic, epic, TemaShika. Would feature politics, Gaara-as-Kazekage stuff, and end with Naruto as the Hokage.)

Lady Hyuuga's Lover:
for everyone involved, it's just easier to pretend that the big secret is that Naruto is Hinata's lover. It's the kind of secret that makes sense to a hidden village plagued with unrequited crushes and arranged marriages. Everybody knows about everything there's to know about it.

Besides, everybody likes Hinata – who deserves at least that much happiness, only married to her cousin so he can assume the Clan Head's power with her as a figurehead – and Naruto – who is only a couple of years removed from becoming Tsunade-sama's official successor and everybody knows it – and no-one can fault them for it.

They are the cutest couple ever.

(Also, with Naruto and Hinata carrying their sweetly forbidden but oh-so-glaring romance, it becomes easier to ignore that Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura are pretty much an item. Logically speaking, that should look as pure and inspiring as Naruto and Hinata – but Konoha is still a ninja village and there's something there that make them a bit queasy there. It's just easier to deal with when they're on the outskirts of Naruto and Hinata. Part of that sweetness is reflected on them as well.)

It's just that Konoha's not really ready to know that Neji and Hinata are happily married, and Hinata actually is the Clan Head in more than name; that Naruto's not left out of Sasuke and Sakura's relationship in any sense of the word.

(unredeemable fluff, what-the-village-believes vs the truth. And when I say the village, I mean the sort of background distant villager who hated Naruto on principle when he was a kid. Their friends totally know the truth, and honestly it's not as much 'playing along' as just 'god, if that's what the village really is stupid enough to believe – their business, not mine'. NejiHina, NaruSakuSasu. -> WHAT A SHOCK. WHAT A SURPRISE. XD)

[laleia.livejournal.com]

-sigh-

So I suppose I couldn't actually convince you to /write/ any of these? (Aside from the one you already earmarked, of course.) It is my opinion that the world needs more epic TemaShika (but then I'm biased.)

[runespoor7.livejournal.com]

*scaaaaaaaaared of commitment* I... can't write epic.

But I agree on the principle of the world needing more epic TemaShika. Or more TemaShika at all. ;_; (though to be fair, this would be more gen-oriented, in which the two main characters just happen to be together, more or less. Not for Temari and Shikamaru the existential angst - especially not when there's some enemy ass to be kicked.)

[runespoor7.livejournal.com]

Just As Good, or Not All Kunoichi Have to be Medic-nNin
Sakura-fic. When she was at the Academy, Sakura wrote an essay on kunoichi and medic-nin, in which she argued that a good kunoichi didn't need to be a good medic-nin to be a good ninja. Now she is known as the best medic-nin of her generation, and there are some who would readily affirm she will grow stronger than her mentor, Godaime Tsunade-sama, of the Sannin.

What no-one realises is that the reason Sakura stood in front of Tsunade and demanded to be her apprentice had nothing to do with medic-nin and everything with strength. She needed it, and Tsunade was the strongest ninja then in Konoha.

And you know – when she's the one to patch her team up after the last fight with Itachi – Itachi whom she killed, by the way – yeah, well she revels in it.

(futurefic. Includes major glee at Sakura's awesomeness! Oh, who am I kidding. Hints of NaruSakuSasu. Because they are Team Seven.)


Or! Since I'm aware I kinda took the prompt and ran with it, and anyway I didn't properly answer your first prompt, you get another (more classical) possibility!
Hinata-fic. Hinata's a girl, and as a Hyuuga she has good chakra control, and she's also less of a fighter than Neji, and she knows it. Consensus has it that she should become a medic-nin.

She doesn't want to.

includes a scene in which Tsunade and Hiashi have an icy, heavy-with-political-implications discussion, with Hiashi trying to get Tsunade to take Hinata as an apprentice – because he may be dense as a brick and all when it comes to what Hinata wants, but he wants 'the best for her', or something like it – and Tsunade refusing because 1)she's not going to teach Hinata just because she happens to be the Hyuuga Heir, 2)Hinata wouldn't be a good medic-nin, 3) not all kunoichi have to be medic-nin 4)Tsunade is really resenting the implications that being a medic-nin is second best and not worthy of 'a true Hyuuga'.

Hinata stays a combat-oriented shinobi, and through hard work and all, she! becomes! stronger! …meanwhile, Neji learns some medical ninjutsu, because he's so the only one on his team who has any hope of achieving it.

Hiashi's brain breaks and he displaces most of his hopes – somewhat the worse for wear – on Hanabi. (and then Hanabi is, of course, gay. InoHanabi)

(another glee!fic with snarkiness and fluffiness and no Hiashi-bashing. He just Means Well. *opinion of well-meaning meddlers/puppeteers shining through* I just like mocking him. A little. *pets* …NejiHina at least hinted, because I'm predictable like that.)

[laleia.livejournal.com]

It's two summaries for the price of one! I love these plots, both the Sakura and the Hinata, and you took both /exactly/ where I wanted them. If that sentence made any sense whatsoever.

[runespoor7.livejournal.com]

Konohamaru's Visit to the Dentist
It's just a C-rank mission. Konohamaru isn't convinced why the Cloud-nin would try and leak the classified (?) information through files in a civilian dentist's cabinet, but the mission's straightforward enough and simple enough. He just had to get the files back and destroy them, all the while making sure that no-one guesses his affiliation to the Leaf.

He quickly finds out the only way to get the files is to break into the office when the dentist and his secretary are out for lunch, because there's a glass pane between the actual cabinet and the entrance in which is situated the secretary's desk, so anyone walking by would be able to see what's going on if he decided to just get an appointment and make use of the distraction they'd be able to create to drag the man out of his office (have Moegi and Udon come and cause a scene while he's inside), unless he used a genjutsu, and genjutsu could be traced back to them.

So, anyway. The idea is that Udon will watch the two while they're eating at their restaurant, and Moegi will be ready to delay them in the street if they leave before Konohamaru is finished.

Thus they do. Of course Konohamaru doesn't find the files in time, and Moegi has to intervene to take care of the dentist and the secretary, managing to attract them in an out-of-the-way alley further away from the place, chattering all the while, with Udon making the liaison between the other two. And of course Moegi gets bored, slips, awakens the dentist and his secretary's suspicion, so she kills them. Shortly after, Konohamaru arrives at the scene.

Udon's look when he took in the dead bodies sprawled at improbable angles in the mud was more weary than anything. "You could've remembered we were supposed to be discreet," he said reproachfully.

"I just broke their necks with a brick," Moegi said in an almost offended tone. "No-one's going to think about ninja, much less Leaf. As if I'd have even needed to use chakra anyway!" she added after a pause.

Konohamaru, the precious encoded scrolls weighing down his hip pouch, waved the issue away as inconsequential. "T's okay – we found what we needed, we'd better hurry back if we want that bonus."

"Look, let's just hit them a bit so they'll have a few bruises, if it'll make you feel better," the girl generously offered when Udon hesitated.

It was a perfectly nice C-rank mission.

(gen. not angsty in the least, mix of "cheerful" and "professional". They're just teens who sometimes kill people. They're not going to lose any sleep about it.)

Icha Icha Fanfiction
Sakura tries to deal with her reaction to SasuSai, and Konoha gets flooded with RPS.

Jiraiya is speechless, Tsunade is out for her perverted ex-teammate's blood, Konohamaru is ever so smug, and Naruto and Sakura bicker, banter, and finally found the biggest very specialised firm dealing with discerning romance, that's how they call it (Sai does the cover art.). As each and every of their RL models gets a healthy stipend out of the benefits, Konoha quickly becomes the richest Hidden Village in existence, and Naruto and Sakura avoid any threat on their persons, to Jiraiya's considerable awe. Needless to say, Sasuke-based fics are by far the most successful, leading Sasuke to stalk back to Konoha after too much of it.

Sasuke glared. "How the hell am I supposed to track that man down if I'm followed everywhere by a pack of fangirls squealing for my autograph and throwing themselves into my fucking path? I can't accidentally Chidori them through the chest! Some of them have been squealing about Uchiha sandwiches."

The scorn in his voice could have stripped paint off the walls, but it slid upon his former teammates like water on a duck.

Sakura's demeanour brightened. "Oh, about your brother – he has a subscription under the name of Hoshigaki Kisame. They're in – what hotel, already, Naruto?" she turned to look at her partner.

"The one in Earth Country. He's one of our best clients," Naruto helpfully added. "He always buys the special issues."

(utter, unapologetic crack. NaruSakuSasu and assorted pairings/hints at, but mostly crack.)

[laleia.livejournal.com]

You have to write the crack-fic. Pretty, pretty, pretty please? I love how you've taken my prompts and run with them, and constructed beautiful plots that I would love to see in a fanfic anywhere.

This meme was fun! (For me, at least. I don't know if it was fun for you.) Can I come up with more titles? (Because I had a lot of them, but after the fifth one, I felt bad about giving you so many ...)

[runespoor7.livejournal.com]

It was fun for me as well! Procrastination x 100!

Yeah, you can. Just don't count on all the possible fics being as long and detailed as these.

And I'm glad you like what I've done with them so far. (I scarred my beta-listener for life with the Konohamaru-at-the-dentist, though. :D)

[laleia.livejournal.com]

So I've come up with more titles, for you to do in your own sweet time, because I was totally bored and remembered and ... yeah ...

The Forgotten

The Kunoichi's Guide To Dealing With PMS When On Missions

Kyuubi Revelations

Why Shino Hates Caffeine

[lita-of-jupiter.livejournal.com]

How about:
Teatime with Anko
or
Late Night Gambles
Why is the Sake Gone
The Squirrel Strikes BAck

[artistshipper.livejournal.com]

How I learned to stop angsting and simply love the

(choose from the following)

a) Curse Seal

b) Kyuubi

c) Explosive Tag

d) Byakugan

(I love Dr. Strangelove jokes... It's a Character Flaw I took to get the Snarky trait.)